I understand why you would feel obligated to go to your brother's birthday party! I would definitely want to go as well and would be very stressed if there was anything that would make the party awkward. You could offer to be the designated driver! I know I always love it when there is someone in our group that doesn't want to drink...makes determining who the driver will be really easy.You could also bring something for people to do that will take the attention off drinking. If the only source of entertainment is drinking and drinking games, it's going to be more obvious. If that's not an option, keep walking around! If you're not in one spot for long, people may not notice what you are doing or not doing because you'll look busy and social.
If no one needs a ride and there is no way for you to avoid the situation at the party, you are going to have to be confident and firm with your friends. Whether you were legal to drink or not, it should not matter...you don't want to drink, end of story, so they should back off. I am not saying to fly off the handle at your friends if they offer you a drink, but if they ask more than once or tease you about it, don't back down. You are not in the wrong. You can very calmly ask, "Why do you care if I drink? You should be capable of entertaining yourself." Make a joke out of it and turn it back on them.
If you DON'T want to go to the party at all because you know it will be an environment you don't want to be in, don't go!! I know it's your brother, but that is exactly why he should understand. Tell him you don't like going to parties because everyone pressures you to drink/smoke to a point where you cannot even have fun. If he's upset and wants you there, tell him to not be surprised if you leave.
I think it's great that you know where you stand about you smoking or drinking and are sticking to it. While I see nothing wrong with enjoying alcohol on special occasions or to culture your palette, I for the most part also avoid alcohol and did for a while. I think its a good idea to go to your older brother's party, seeing as he's your brother and you have just as much (if not more) right to be there than any of your or his friends. I personally make sure there's going to be something nonalcoholic to drink ahead of time (like water or punch) and most times I bring my own bottled water or soda just to avoid the excessive alcohol. (Even though theses are friends, I would never leave your drink alone with anybody, just as a reminder how common it is for drinks to be spiked). If you find that even that doesn't help you avoid the drinking encouragement, I would voice what you think about the pressures. Society teaches us, especially women, to be people pleasures and let people make us feel uncomfortable and still be nice about it, even when its dangerous. (I really recommend reading Gavin de Becker's book, "The Gift of Fear", its damn near saved my life countless times). I learned that I needed to be firm with my friends who tried to encourage me to do something I simply didn't want to get into a regular habit of doing. You should respond with a polite no thank you, and if they continue say, "I really don't like that you are disregarding my answer, it's hurtful. You are disrespecting my wishes and my polite response. As a friend you need to take my no as a no,". Pushing something on to somebody that they don't want is considered abusive. Think of molestation, rape, peer pressure (especially on minors), etc. If they continue to try to pressure you into things I'd consider breaking off your relations with them because it really does mean they don't respect you. Best wishes. (: xo
Good job for not wanting to smoke anytime soon. You sound very responsible. I think you should still go to the party. Don't give in to peer pressure. Tell them why you don't want to drink. If they are really your friends and respect your opinion/beliefs, then they will listen to you. Try to keep yourself busy the party. Offer to clean up, refill refreshments for people, bring out the food, prepare the food, etc. Talk to people you haven't seen in a while. Go have fun. Good luck!
Here's the plan, but you have to keep it on the down low:
You get an empty bottle of vodka and bring it to the party. But you have to fill it with water. When your friends tell you to get a drink, you just reach over and start chugging from the bottle and start acting tipsy.
Ok, I'm just joking. Just remember that no one can actually make you do anything. And if this is really bothering you, and your friends are just making you feel nervous and anxious, maybe you should reconsider your friends.
real friends won't punch to to drink alcohol, if you don't want to drink just tell them period! drink something nonalcoholic instead and have fun. i don't drink and smoke neither i can't stand beer.
Empty and clean out a beer bottle and put water in it. Fake your friends out. Works every time. :)
smoke instead? or always have a drink in hand (not alcohol).
DONT DRINK IT if you dont wan tto.
Tell them hey thanks but i got to get up early
Even though I'm 20 years old (female) I have never drank or smoked before and I don't want to start anytime soon. But at my brother's party there will be alcohol, and my friends are going to try to get my to drink it. I don't even want to go because of it, but l don't want to look rude by not attending at the same time after all its my brother's birthday and I feel obligated to go. He's older than me by the way.
